inHIM聖誕系列｜尋找心中的平安 Finding Peace in the Heart
平安，看起來離自身好遙遠，但當回看過去所經歷、走過的路程，這個詞其實充斥著每個方面，可能家庭、可能朋友關係之間，甚至在幫助他人裡面，看似遙遠，其實處處都在。或許對一些人來說，平安就是事事順利、無病無災，但對於我來說，在“風浪來臨”的時候，或者說，不想去面對很多的瑣事和挑戰，還能在“平靜安穩”的裡面，這也是一種“平安”。
Peace always seemed so far away. But when I look back on the path I’ve walked, I realize it’s woven into every part of life—within family bonds, friendships, even in the small acts of helping others. It may feel distant, but it’s everywhere. For some, peace means smooth sailing and good health. For me, it’s the calm and stability I can hold onto when troubles come, when I don’t feel like facing life’s trivialities and challenges. That, too, is peace.
曾經的我，總是會把事情往最壞的方向想，貌似沒什麼問題，卻往往容易陷進憂慮當中，再加上自身不喜歡去做計劃，或者說去預設“事情真的發生的時候，要怎麼做”，後來也就習慣了逃避，事情一來就逃，躲不掉了那就直接躺下放棄了，心中其實一直充斥著“我不行，放棄吧”、“都是我的問題，沒有我或許會更好”。
I used to always expect the worst. It seemed harmless, but it trapped me in constant worry. I also hated making plans, never preparing for what might happen. Eventually, I got used to running away. When problems arose, I’d hide; if I couldn’t hide, I’d just give up. My mind was filled with voices saying, “You can’t do this. Just quit.” “It’s all your fault. Things would be better without you.”
曾經我執著於向外追逐自己想要的生活，把一些外在的寄託當成救贖，有事時便向其求索，無事時便拋諸腦後，終究還是憑著自己的心意前行。可走著走著才發現，內心從未真正滿足，也從未擁有過踏實的平安。雖然看起來無大事發生，但一到夜晚，裡面充滿了憂愁、煩躁，回憶都是自己的失敗和不足，更加陷到無望當中。
I once chased the life I wanted by grasping at external things, seeing them as my salvation. I’d cling to them when times were tough, then toss them aside when things were easy, always following my whims. But as I went on, I found my heart was never truly satisfied, never at peace. On the surface, nothing major went wrong—but at night, sorrow and restlessness would consume me. My memories were filled with failures and flaws, dragging me deeper into despair.
曾有一段難受的經歷，我甚至覺得“要不放棄得了”、“死亡或許是種解脫呢”，雖然身體還在，但裡面已經像一個“死人”。就在我連自己都放棄自己的時候，光來了——是身邊的導師與朋友，伸出了援手。他們的陪伴與開導讓我遇見了“光”，讓我明白不必害怕未知，也不必過度思慮，只需腳踏實地往前走。那些曾經的失敗與過錯，不過是成長的印記，並不會阻擋生命賦予的美好與機遇。而我要做的，是活在當下，放下無謂的執念，勇敢地往前走。在這個低谷，那束名為“平安”的光，讓我活過來了。
There was a dark time when I even thought, “Maybe I should just give up” “Maybe death is the only escape”. My body was alive, but my soul felt dead. Just when I’d abandoned myself, light broke through—from mentors and friends who reached out to me. Their company and guidance led me into the light, teaching me not to fear the unknown or overthink. I just needed to take one steady step at a time. Those past failures and mistakes, they’re just marks of growth, not barriers to life’s beauty and opportunities. All I had to do was live in the present, let go of pointless obsessions, and move forward bravely. In that valley of darkness, that glimmer of peace brought me back to life.
從前的我一直在盲目，“大海撈針”般地尋找平安，總想著追逐他人定義的標準。直到回頭才發現，真正的平安從來不在別處，就在自己心裡。我需要做的，是做出選擇：是讓內心的篤定佔據主導，還是讓那些看似誘人的慾望填滿心房。曾經事情未發生，我就開始擔心、憂慮，即使身處其中，也還是帶著擔憂、愁苦去做，寧願放棄也不願多走一步、不願繼續嘗試，現在，雖仍會有這些負面的情緒，至少我是想著竭力去跑，可能不是我想要的結果，那又怎樣，走了再說；只要守住內心的節奏，不慌不忙地前行，就不會差到哪裡去，而這樣的堅持，總會帶來“出人意外的平安”。
I used to search for peace blindly, like looking for a needle in a haystack, chasing the standards set by others. Only later did I realize: true peace was never somewhere else. It was within me all along. The choice is mine—to let unshakable resolve fill my heart, or to let tempting desires take over. I still feel those negative emotions sometimes—the worry before things happen, the anxiety while facing them. But now, instead of giving up, I’m determined to keep going. Even if the outcome isn’t what I hoped for, so what? At least I tried. As long as I stay true to my inner rhythm and move forward steadily, things will turn out fine. And this kind of perseverance always brings a peace that surpasses all expectations.
或許我們都在四處尋覓，可究竟在找什麼呢？是高高在上的地位，是源源不斷的財富，還是光鮮亮麗的成就？我想，更多人追尋的，是那份即便身處 “狂風暴雨”，內心依然能保持的平靜與安穩。在光中，必得見光，這份不被外界紛擾的篤定，才是我們終其一生想要的真正的平安。
We’re all searching for something, aren’t we? Is it status, wealth, or glamorous achievements? I think what most of us crave is the calm and stability in our hearts—even when the storms of life rage around us. When we walk in the light, we will see the light. That unshakable peace, unshaken by the chaos of the world, is the true peace we spend our whole lives seeking.
