與媽媽和解的那年，我學會了柔和｜2026年inHIM晚秋系列 “柔和 Be Gentle”
(Story By｜1995 · Female)
五六月份迎來母親節與父親節，滿城都在訴說親情溫暖，可為什麼不少人與父母的關係，始終籠罩在無法化解的隔閡之中？血脈相連的親子，難道只能在觀念差異與心結里不斷拉扯嗎？
May and June bring Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, filling the city with talks of family warmth. Yet why do so many stay trapped in unhealed rifts with their parents? Must parents and children endlessly clash over conflicting values and unresolved hurts?
自幼留守的我長期缺少母親陪伴，內心對她有著很深的依賴。可長大之後，母親很多處事方式都和我的價值觀相悖，我很難打心底認同她。平日里還要周旋在家中各類矛盾之間，一邊心疼她生活操勞，一邊又無法理解她的選擇，兩種情緒不斷拉扯，母女之間慢慢積累起難以消除的隔閡。
I left my hometown young and grew up without my mother beside me, yet deeply craved her closeness. As an adult, our lifestyles and values constantly clashed, leaving me stuck in endless family friction. I grieved her hardships, yet could not accept her choices—these conflicting feelings slowly drove an unbridgeable wedge between us.
步入工作後我盡力補貼家裡，我滿心疲憊，只想逃離原生家庭。獨自在外生活沒能消解隔閡，反倒平添沈重的債務壓力，各類負面情緒長期消耗著我。後來礙於親情不得不與她同住，平日里我們刻意疏遠、溝通始終沒有結果。心底積攢的委屈像不斷充氣的氣球，越繃越緊，直到她搬回來的第一個除夕前夕，一件微不足道的小事成為導火索，長久壓抑的情緒徹底失控。二十五年積攢的委屈與失望一齊湧上心頭，我失控地大聲爭執，這般暴躁失態的模樣，連我自己都感到陌生。
After starting work, I fully supported our family, drained both physically and mentally, desperate to escape home. Living alone did not mend our rift; it only piled on financial stress and long-term exhaustion. Later, duty forced me to move back with her. We kept distant, our conversations never resolving anything. Years of repressed resentment built up like an overinflated balloon. One trivial matter on Lunar New Year’s Eve ignited everything: 25 years of hurt and disappointment spilled out in a screaming fight, and I barely recognized my furious, out-of-control self.
看著失控失態、全然陌生的自己，我才看清心底堆積了太多未處理的情緒垃圾；一味壓抑並不會愈合傷痕，只會讓內心一點點扭曲，直至徹底崩盤。爆發過後只剩滿心空洞，我忍不住懷疑自己：明明內心一直期盼和睦的母女關係，為何最後卻落到互相傷害的地步，我對失控的自己滿心失望。
Seeing how unraveled I’d become, I realized my heart was crammed with unprocessed grief. Suppressing pain never heals wounds—it warms you inside until you break down. After the outburst, all I felt was empty. I’d always yearned for a loving bond with my mom, so why had we only hurt each other? I was ashamed of how I’d lost myself to anger.
我迫切想要解開心中的疑惑，尋得這份痛苦的答案。當我把全部經歷和信任的導師分享時，她只是平靜地對我說：“你不要得理不饒人。” 這句話如一記驚堂木，瞬間敲醒深陷情緒的我。我開始抽離心中的苦楚，用理智去思考：既然我認為問題不在我的身上，那為什麼自己會如此痛苦？為什麼會一直循環著痛苦？沈下心自省才看見，所有長久折磨我的痛苦，都藏在自己心裡四處打結的盲點。
Desperate to untangle this pain, I shared my story with a trusted mentor. She simply told me: “Don’t fight to prove you’re right just because you have a point.” Her words cut through my swirling emotions. I stepped back to reflect: if I thought all fault lay with her, why was I the one suffering endlessly? Calm self-reflection revealed all my agony stemmed from blind spots in my own heart.
導師這句簡短卻精准的提點，促使我慢慢修正自身言行，調整對待母親的態度。我試著瞭解母親的成長背景與過往傷痛，學著接納她的缺點，也明白改變她，是屬於她自己的生命功課。我不再沈溺自我情緒，只守好身為女兒該盡的本分；不再困在原地埋怨前路不通，學會轉身看見其他出路。
Her advice pushed me to adjust my words, actions and attitude toward my mother. I tried to understand her upbringing and hidden pain, accepting her limitations—her growth was her own journey, not my burden. I stopped wallowing in raw emotion and simply fulfilled my role as a daughter; instead of blaming our stagnant relationship, I chose to seek new ways forward.
這一年我開始嘗試改變。今年過年前，我將自己放在“女兒”的位置，與母親商量過年搞衛生、年貨採購事宜，說出我作為女兒的“可完成”與“無法完成”，請求母親這個“家長”的幫助。她樂見於此，大家有商有量，合作順利。今年的年，過得平安。
Over the past year, I committed to change. Before this Lunar New Year, I acted fully as her daughter: we split holiday chores and shopping tasks. I openly shared what I could and could not handle, and asked for her support as my parent. She welcomed this shift, and we cooperated seamlessly, enjoying a peaceful New Year together.
歷經滿心怨懟、情緒崩潰的階段才醒悟，化解隔閡的鑰匙從來不在對方身上，母親依舊是原來的她。原來，唯有經過 Refine（焠鍊），才能真正 Define（認清）自我。所有對外的和解，都始於向內與自己和解。熬過多年的拉扯，我終於掙脫了痛苦的泥沼，內心生出柔和謙卑，主動放下心中的計較與怨氣，母女關係終會回歸平和有序。
Resentment and emotional breakdown finally taught me this: healing our rift was never up to her. My mother remains unchanged in many ways. We only truly define ourselves through refinement. All outer reconciliation starts with making peace within. After years of emotional turmoil, I have escaped that cycle of pain, cultivating softness and humility inside. I willingly let go of all grudges and grievances, trusting our mother-daughter bond will heal gently over time.
2026 年晚秋，inHIM 推出 “Be Gentle 柔和” 系列，願我們一同學習柔和謙卑的樣式，主動放下執念與苛責，化解那些纏繞已久的分歧與摩擦，褪去身上尖銳的稜角，以溫柔作為親近家人的底色，內心常得平安。
This autumn 2026, inHIM launches the “Be Gentle” collection. May we all embrace gentleness and humility, release rigid demands and harsh criticism, dissolve long-standing conflicts, and smooth our sharp edges. Let tenderness guide our connections with family, so our hearts may find lasting peace.
